Hold
by megzz78
Summary: Piper Chapman hates this hold that Alex Vause has over her. How the hell can two people be so wrong for each other, yet so completely and perfectly right for each other at the same time? An Alex/Piper fic post-prison.


**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters associated with the story.**

**AN: Just to clear up any confusion, this story takes place roughly a year after they are released from prison and is just my imagination of what could potentially happen if Piper and Alex were to cross paths. Let's just assume that after Alex returns to prison, her and Piper don't talk much. This story will also just be a one-shot, not a multi-chapter fic. This is my first shot at this, so let me know what you all think. **

* * *

A pang of nostalgia courses through her veins as she stares at the picture frame, her fingers slowly caressing what was once the biggest part of her life.

_You shouldn't be thinking about her, _she reminds herself. But that's just it. She is always thinking about _her. _As much as she doesn't want to think about her and the memories that they share, some fond and some bitter, she can't stop. It's kind of hard to just forget the greatest love in your life.

A part of her hates Alex Vause; hates her for the constant hurt that she has caused the fragile blonde. But another part of her loves Alex Vause unconditionally. Because, she is the only woman or person for that matter, that truly knows the real Piper Chapman.

"_God, I hate this!" _Piper groans out loud, running a hand through her golden locks. She hates this fucking hold that Alex Vause always has on her. Even when she is not present, she is still invading Piper's every thought.

Her hands are shaking as she looks at the picture of them, smiling and happy, and her expression twists to one that is full of anger and pain.

"_Fuck you Alex Vause!" _escapes her lips in a harsh whisper as the sultry tears gently slide down her face. Then, the picture frame smashes into the wall with force, breaking into a million tiny remnants, baring a striking resemblance to their broken relationship.

Her body racks uncontrollably as she slides back against the wall and drops her head into her knees. She just wants to feel something again, anything.

* * *

The bar is probably the last place that she should be right now but that doesn't stop Piper Chapman from sinking onto a bar stool.

"Margarita please," Piper calls to the bartender as she digs into her purse for some money.

"Isn't it a little cold for a margarita?"

Piper freezes at the icy tone that comes from behind her. She isn't sure if she's hearing things or if the hauntingly familiar voice really belongs to _her._

"Alex…" Piper turns slightly and stares into the cold eyes of her ex-lover. "What are you doing here?"

"It's a bar Piper. You don't own it," Alex responds with a shrug as she calls for another beer.

Piper hasn't seen Alex since she was released from prison a little over a year ago. She knows that Alex got out a few months after she did but she'd had no contact with the raven haired beauty. Until now.

As much as she hated that Alex was standing behind her right now, her hot breath tickling her neck in the most enticing way humanly possible, she couldn't deny how good she looked. Luscious dark locks spilled in soft waves past her shoulders and her navy blue eyes hid behind those ridiculously sexy glasses that she always wore.

"It's been a while Chapman, hasn't it?" Alex breaks the blonde from her thoughts as she collects her beer and throws a few bills on the counter.

"Yeah," Piper grits through her teeth as she takes a long, much-needed sip from her drink. "It has."

"Look Piper, you can be cold and callous all you want but we need to talk," Alex tells her plainly, her hand resting gently on Piper's shoulder. Piper can't deny the electrical shock that courses through her veins at the simple touch of Alex's warm hand.

"I have nothing to say to you Alex," Piper mutters coldly, any ounce of emotion drained from her usually vibrant voice. In actuality, she has so much to say to Alex, so many unanswered questions, but she doesn't want to be sucked back into Alex's world. Not again. Because that worked out so well for her the last time.

"I have a few things to say to you Piper," Alex tells her quickly. "Please?"

It's cute to see Alex being so persistent but Piper doesn't budge. "Rye and coke, please," she calls out to the bartender as she finishes chugging down the contents in her glass and slamming it onto the countertop. She needs something stronger this time. "Make it a double."

"Really Pipes?" Alex raises a perfectly arched eyebrow. "I didn't exactly expect you to be cordial but seeing you like this… it's much worse than I thought." Alex gives her a soft smile, one that used to make Piper melt, as she grabs her beer from the counter and turns back to her table.

* * *

She can hear Alex's unmistakable laugh and it is driving her nuts. A part of her wants to go over the brunette and tell her that she hates her with every fiber being in her body. Another part of her wants to go over there, grab her, and pull her into a passionate kiss. From the corner of her eye, Piper sees Alex get up and start heading towards the bathroom.

As she sees the brunette pass behind her, Piper sighs, and lifts herself from the barstool, her feet propelling her towards the bathroom. It is almost like she is a magnet that is so strongly attracted to Alex Vause. She can't help but smile at the irony of the situation either, her following Alex to the bathroom like this, much like she did the night they began their torrid love affair.

Alex is standing outside the door, waiting, as she impatiently taps her foot against the floor and glances at her phone.

Piper walks up behind her, or stumbles rather, because she can feel the alcohol coursing through her veins.

"Jesus Piper," Alex turns and nearly catches the blonde as she slips. "How much have you had to drink?"

"Not enough," the blonde giggles as she looks deeply into Alex's blue orbs. "You look so good tonight, Vause."

"Piper…"

She can't help it. It's almost like an instinct as her hands grab Alex's neck and lower her face towards the blondes'. Their lips connect and both of them feel an undeniable spark that consumes their bodies. Piper had secretly been craving this feeling for so long. And now, she would finally have it.

"Piper, stop." It is Alex who breaks the kiss, gently prying Piper's hands from her neck. "We shouldn't be doing this."

"B-but, I love you," Piper hiccups as she looks at Alex dejectedly. "Do you not want me too?" Drunken words are sober thoughts, right?

"Piper you know that I want you," Alex tells her softly as she tilts her head to the side. "But not like this. You're drunk."

"I hate you," Piper slurs, her eyes turning into slits of anger. "I hate you so fucking much Alex. But, at the same fucking time, I love you. And I don't think I'll ever fucking stop!"

"Let's get you home," Alex gives the blonde an amused smile as she puts an arm around her.

* * *

Alex thanked the Taxi driver as she handed him the money and gently pulled Piper out with her. "Whoa… where are we going? I don't live here… or do I?" the blonde giggles at Alex, who fumbles with her keys.

"This is my apartment," Alex tells her with a smile as she inserts the key into the lock and leads Piper inside the building. "I have absolutely no clue where you live so you can stay here for the night and when you are coherent, we can talk."

"Are you trying to seduce me Alex?" Piper grins as she starts to sway back and forth, stumbling inside the apartment. "Because if you are… it's working."

Alex sends her an amused smile. She has to admit that drunk Piper is pretty cute, although a bit of a handful.

"I think it's time for bed Pipes," Alex tells her as she leads the blonde into the bedroom. "I'll get you a glass of water and some Advil," she offers as she sets the blonde on the bed.

"Alex, the room is spinning!" Piper laughs as Alex comes back into the room with the water and Advil.

"Here take these," Alex instructs, holding the water and Advil out to Piper, who complies.

Piper is struggling to pull her shirt from her body and Alex notices that her jeans are already shrugged off. "Here let me help you kid," Alex grins as she helps Piper free the shirt from her torso, her eyes lingering over the blonde's body for a little bit too long. "Umm… here," Alex mutters, a little bit flustered, as she picks up an old shirt from her closet and hands it to Piper.

Piper thanks Alex as she slips the shirt on and crawls under the covers.

"Night kid," Alex smiles gently as she places a light kiss on Piper's forehead.

"Thanks for taking such good care of me."

"I'll always take care of you Piper. No matter what happens to us," Alex replies softly. "Now get some sleep so we can talk in the morning."

"Where are you going?" Piper asks as Alex is halfway to the door. "Don't leave me."

"I'm just going to the bathroom," Alex reassures her. "I'll be right back."

Piper nods as she slowly begins to fall asleep, thoughts of Alex still consuming her mind.

* * *

It feels like she's been hit by a cement truck that backed up and hit her again repeatedly. She slowly cracks one eye, the light hitting her like a tonne of bricks. She grabs at the blankets and curls them tighter around her body. It suddenly occurs to her that these are not her blankets and this is not her bed. They smell like Alex.

"Oh fuck no," she curses out loud as she realizes that she is in Alex Vause's bed. Blurry flashbacks strung together of last night's events start to cloud her memory. She remembers meeting Alex at the bar, following her to the bathroom, and Alex taking her home. From there, her mind goes blank. She whips the covers back and lets out a sigh of relief when she sees that she is wearing underwear and a shirt that smells like Alex.

"Here," she hears a soft whisper beside her and looks over to see Alex propped up against the headboard, reading a book. She hands Piper a glass of water and some more Advil.

"Thanks," Piper whispers gratefully as she swallows the pills down. "What happened last night Alex? We didn't… you know… did we?"

Alex sends her an amused smile. "No," she answers, a hint of disappointment tainting her voice. "Unfortunately, I have not come like that since the last time we slept together, which was in prison…"

Piper shoots her a glare as she slowly sits up. "Thanks for taking care of me last night Alex. I should probably go."

"You promised that we would talk," Alex tells her stiffly, swinging her legs over the side of the bed. "I'll make breakfast."

Piper groans. She knows what is going to happen if she stays. She is going to get sucked back into Alex's world. A part of her wants to leave. But underneath it all, an even bigger part of her wants to stay and be corrupted by Alex Vause.

"You know, you look sexy in my shirt. It sure takes me back," Alex grins as her eyes soften, her head tilting to the side. She reaches into the cupboard and begins pulling everything out that she needs to make breakfast.

Piper props herself up on the counter, the smell of freshly brewing coffee hitting her nostrils.

"Do you even remember last night?" Alex asks as she stirs the pancake batter, an eyebrow arched high.

"Parts of it. I don't remember much beyond us meeting at the bathroom and you dragging me out of the bar," Piper groans apologetically. "I am so sorry."

"That's probably a good thing," Alex chuckles as she pours the pancake batter into the pan.

"I'm glad to see you at least remember how to make pancakes after all these years," Piper grins a little bit. "Remember what happened the last time you tried?"

Alex lets out a small laugh, remembering the pancake incident that had ended in pancake batter being spread over nearly every inch of their kitchen and the food fight that had ensued by the two lovers. "How could I forget?" She poured Piper a cup of coffee and handed it to her. "We had some pretty good times huh, kid?"

* * *

As the pancakes are finished, Piper helps Alex set the table and the two sit down across from each other at the table.

"These are surprisingly good Alex," Piper grins as she takes a bite of her pancakes. "I'm impressed."

"Well, without you, I had to learn how to cook," Alex tells her with a shrug as she takes a long sip of her coffee.

Piper looks down, feeling the impact of how badly she had broken Alex's heart when she left all of those years ago.

"Piper, can I ask you something?"

Piper nods as she sloshes her coffee around absentmindedly in the pristine white mug.

"Why did you call my probation officer after I was released from prison the first time? I mean, we never really talked about it in prison."

Piper looks at the raven haired beauty seated across from her. Why were they re-hashing this? "Alex… I… I was upset with you. You told the truth after you told me to lie. You got to taste freedom and I was upset that I was still stuck in prison, I guess."

Alex looks at her for a second before shaking her head. "That's bullshit and you know it. Why did you really call my probation officer?"

Piper looks at her dumfounded. "Alex, I'm not lying, I was upset with you and it was my way of getting revenge, I guess," she closes her eyes tightly before blinking them open. "And I wanted you in the prison with me. I guess, I didn't think I could do it without you. I felt like I had nobody and I didn't want to have to live without you. You were leaving me when I needed you the most."

"Oh, you mean kind of like how you left me when my mother died?" Alex bit back, bitterness tainting her voice.

"Alex!" Piper's hazel eyes bore into Alex's blue orbs coldly. "That is not the same and you know it!"

"Really?" Alex raises an eyebrow in a challenging manner. "Because, I don't seem to think that it is."

"Alex, we hurt each other. It's just what we do," Piper yells bluntly, the words searing from her mouth like a wildfire.

"I never meant to hurt you intentionally…" Alex sighs as she pushes her chair back. "But, I'm glad to know that you did."

"Alex," Piper tries to reason calmly. "I never meant to hurt you either. It was kind of like a vicious cycle, I suppose. I don't know if you realize this but we are absolutely toxic together; kind of like fire and gasoline. You hurt me with what you were doing in the drug cartel and the only way I knew how to mend my broken heart was to break yours! You hurt me when you named me in the scandal and sent me to prison. I was upset so I hurt you when I chose Larry over you. You were upset and you hurt me when you threw me under the bus at the Fahri trial and I was upset so I hurt you by calling your probation officer. We are always hurting each other, Alex! You are not supposed to hurt the people that you love."

"No matter how many times we hurt each other, we always find a way back to each other, don't we?" A ghost of a smile appears on Alex's face as she steps forward. "Everything happens for a reason Pipes."

"Alex, how can you stand here and tell me these things after all the hurt that you have caused me?" Piper dares as she steps forward, fire brewing in the depths of her hazel orbs. "You got me tangled up in your drug scheme, got me thrown in jail, and you ruined the best thing that ever happened to me!" she spews angrily, the words flowing from her mouth in such a rapid fashion that they don't stop. She doesn't even believe them; at least not the last accusation.

Alex looks at Piper with disbelief before taking a step closer, her face a mere few inches from Piper's. "First of all Piper, I didn't put a fucking gun to your head. You willingly chose to be involved in the drug scheme. Also, yes I named you and had you put in jail with me, but what was I going to do? You broke my fucking heart. And second of all, I didn't ruin your relationship with Larry. You did that on your own. If my memory serves me well, you came onto me, and I was still fucking in love with you so I was not going to turn you down!"

"I hate you Alex, I hate you so fucking much," Piper breaks down, tears slowly beginning to glisten in her eyes. "But… But I can't live without you. And that scares me. We hurt each other all of the time and I don't want to go down that road again but it seems that no matter how many times you hurt me, I always come back to you because you have this damn hold on me and I still love you. Even though, I don't want to. I wish it was as easy as pressing the delete button."

"Piper," Alex whispers as she gathers the breaking blonde in her arms. "What happened to us?"

"Love makes people do crazy things Alex," Piper tells her with a sigh. "I guess when two people love each other as much as we do, they do crazy things that break them apart. But, in the end they always come back to each other. I wish I didn't love you Alex, believe me I really do, but you know what they say, you can't help who you love."

"It's always going to be there isn't it?" Alex asks after a moment of contemplation. "You and me."

"We have a history together Alex. One that we can't deny," Piper admits as she turns to Alex for a second. "I still love you and I don't think I ever stopped," she admits slowly.

Alex looks into Piper's eyes and sees a glimpse of the woman that she fell in love with all of those years ago. A lot has changed in the years that have passed. Piper was just a small town girl from Connecticut who wanted to feel special and bad. But now, Piper is just a woman who wants to feel loved unconditionally.

Instinctually, Alex leans forward and presses her lips to Piper's, hoping to find a trace of the spark that once burned to brightly between them. She is genuinely surprised when Piper deepens the kiss and drags her long fingers through Alex's hair, pulling Alex closer to her.

When they pull apart, Alex looks into her eyes and says the words that she's been wanting to say for so long. "I love you, Pipes. Even with all of the shit you have pulled, I still fucking love you too."

"Alex, I can't be with you," Piper tells her firmly, feeling herself break because she knows that she is about to break her ex-lover's heart again. "As much as I want to, I know that I can't… that we can't go down that road again."

"It's different this time around," Alex tells her with a slight smile. "I know I've done some crappy things in the past, but I am not that person anymore. No more involvement with the drug cartel. I want to have a normal relationship and I can't imagine settling down and growing old with anyone else but you."

"Alex…" she looks at the raven-haired beauty, dragging the words out slowly. "I…"

"I promise Pipes," she smiles, her eyes softening. "Even through everything I have always loved you, you need to know that. And I know, you feel the same way, you're just scared."

How could Alex always seem to read her so god damn well?

"It'll be different this time if you please just give me a chance," Alex pleads, a flicker of warm, hope, and desire gathering in her eyes. She grabs Piper's hand and gently presses it against her heart. "I don't know how to live without you. I've always been a better person when I'm with you."

Piper can feel herself melting against Alex's embrace and it scares the hell out of her. How the hell can two people be so wrong for each other, yet so completely and perfectly right for each other at the same time?

Alex stands up and sets her coffee mug down, slowly making her way towards the bedroom, her hips swaying from side to side in a seductive manner. She turns and slowly tilts her head to the side, a seductive smirk forming on her lips.

"You coming with?" she asks in that sexy as hell raspy voice of hers, a perfectly arched eyebrow shooting up in question.

Piper groans, feeling that power that Alex Vause always harbors taking a hold over her. Alex is like a drug, an addiction. No matter how many times she hurts Piper, no matter how many times Piper wants to quit her, she can't help it, and she always goes back for more. Because, she loves the drug that is Alex Vause. It is absolutely intoxicating and it is always there for her when she needs it the most.

There is no use in trying to fight it anymore, no use in trying to convince herself that she is better off without Alex, because she knows that she is always better with Alex. They complete each other in a fucked up sort of way. She misses cuddling all day in bed with the only woman that ever truly knew her and understood her. She misses curling up on the couch in front of a fire and watching classic movies, reading excerpts to each from their favorite novels, or listening to her old-school records. She misses them dancing around the house together in their underwear like nobody is watching. She misses the excitement and thrill of traveling the word together. She misses every little piece of Alex; the perfectly imperfect flaws that make her the woman that she is.

As Alex disappears behind the door, Piper slowly stands and lets a smile form on her lips. She's hooked. You can't fight attraction and you can't fight love either; not when it is as strong as the love that burns so brightly and so immensely between the two of them.

Piper finds herself slowly trailing towards the door that Alex had disappeared behind. As she slowly turns the knob, she can't help but smile. Things are going to be different this time. And she knows that no matter what happens to them, she will always love Alex Vause with every fiber being in her body.


End file.
